Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
