Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
