I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
dude. I can hear the air.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
