it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize