Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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