PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
false alarm, still single
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
