I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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