Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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