Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
