That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
