i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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