Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you win again, gameday.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
