I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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