She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
