maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
