Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
