She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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