U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
