I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
