too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
