I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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