Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
