u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
