I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
