omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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