you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
