Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
