There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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