he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You left your phone here
Wait...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
