And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
