you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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