And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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