we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
