Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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