Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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