dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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