happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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