maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
