If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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