all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
