you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
