just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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