so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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