I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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