i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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