WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
