I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Randomize
