I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Sext me about skeletons
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
