We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she pinky promised me she was 18
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize