I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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