her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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