i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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