? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
