how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
