I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
