you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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