Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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