I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize