hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
