I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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