Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
