I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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