I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
